What EMDR Therapy Actually Feels Like: Returning to EMDR Training 8 Years Later

I recently completed an EMDR refresher training, eight years after my original EMDR training.

A lot has changed in those eight years. Not just professionally, but personally too. I've sat with clients through anxiety, perfectionism, trauma, burnout, relationship wounds, and the nervous system patterns that keep people feeling stuck long after they logically understand where those patterns came from.

And returning to this training reminded me of something I tell clients all the time:

‍ ‍Insight alone is not always enough.

‍ ‍Most of the people I work with are already incredibly self-aware. They've read the books. They've reflected. They can connect the dots between childhood experiences and current patterns. They've done years of talk therapy. They know they're hard on themselves. They know why they overthink. They know their nervous system is constantly anticipating pressure, disappointment, or failure.

‍ ‍But intellectually understanding a pattern and emotionally feeling different inside of it are two very different things.

‍ That's one of the reasons EMDR therapy can feel so different from traditional talk therapy.

Experiencing EMDR Virtually for the First Time

This refresher training was also my first experience doing EMDR training virtually. My original training eight years ago was fully in person, so I was curious whether it would still feel connected and impactful through a screen.

It did.

What stood out to me most was how accessible the experience felt without losing the depth of the work. There was something grounding about being able to process difficult emotions from home instead of immediately having to jump back into traffic, a waiting room, or the outside world afterward.

The work still felt powerful.

The emotional shifts still happened.

The connection was still there.

Stepping Into the Client's Seat

And part of EMDR training involves stepping into the role of participant yourself, not just therapist.

That vulnerability never fully disappears.

During one of the practice sessions, I worked through a distressing memory tied to having extremely high expectations of myself. Not just in an achievement-oriented way, but in the deeper nervous system sense where your worth becomes tied to productivity, performance, or getting things "right."

The kind of pressure that makes rest feel uncomfortable.

The kind that keeps moving the goalpost no matter how much you accomplish.

The kind of internal voice that says:

you should've handled that better.

What stood out to me wasn't that I uncovered some brand new insight. I already knew this pattern existed. I could explain where it came from. I could talk about it clearly.

But during EMDR processing, I could feel the emotional intensity attached to the memory begin to shift.

That's the part that can be hard to explain until you experience it yourself.

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The Pressure to "Be Back to Normal"

One of the hardest parts of returning to work after trauma leave is the expectation (internal or external) to just pick up where you left off.

You might feel like:

•       You need to prove you're okay

•       You don't want to burden coworkers

•       You should be grateful to be back, so you shouldn't struggle

But healing doesn't work like a switch you flip.

Trying to force yourself into your "old capacity" too quickly can actually increase burnout, anxiety and shutdown

How to Ease Back Into Work After Trauma Leave

Instead of focusing on getting back to who you were before, it can be more helpful to focus on supporting where you are now.

Here are a few ways to approach the transition:

1.  Start with realistic expectations

Your capacity may be different right now & that's okay.

Instead of asking:

"Can I do everything I used to?"

Try asking:

"What feels manageable today?"

This shift reduces pressure and helps you build momentum in a sustainable way.

2.  Pay attention to your nervous system (not just your to-do list)

You might be able to push through your workday…

…but feel completely depleted afterward.

That's important information.

Notice:

•       When you feel most activated

•       When you feel more settled

•       What interactions or tasks take the most energy

This awareness helps you adjust your pace instead of constantly overriding your limits.

3.  Build in small regulation moments throughout the day

You don't need an hour-long reset to support your system.

Small moments can make a big difference:

•       Stepping outside for a few minutes

•       Taking a few slower breaths between tasks

•       Unclenching your jaw or relaxing your shoulders

•       Pausing before responding instead of rushing

These aren't "extra" — they're what help your body stay within a manageable range.

‍ ‍Who EMDR Therapy Can Help

EMDR therapy can be especially helpful for:

•       Anxiety and overthinking

•       Perfectionism and self-pressure

•       People-pleasing patterns

•       Childhood trauma

•       Relationship wounds

•       Distressing or emotionally overwhelming experiences

And you do not need to have experienced one major traumatic event for EMDR to help. (If people-pleasing patterns resonate with you in particular, we've written more about how EMDR addresses those too.) Sometimes the experiences that shape us most are years of emotional pressure, unpredictability, criticism, disconnection, or learning that our needs had to come second.

If You're Considering EMDR

Eight years after my original EMDR training, I left this refresher feeling grateful to still be doing this work and reminded that healing is possible, even for the parts of us that have felt stuck for a very long time.

If you're looking for EMDR therapy in Sacramento or virtually throughout California, our team at Insightful Roots Therapy would be honored to support you.

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